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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

Which Is Better

If you recall a while back, FBI Director Robert Mueller unveiled what he referred to as his “unstoppable” karate chop move, the very one he intends to use in the fight against terrorism. Well now, CIA Director George Tenet has come out with his own CIA version of the karate chop move. Unfortunately, this clearly demonstrates that despite all the talk about sharing information between agencies, the FBI and the CIA are still functioning completely independent of one another. You see, Mueller and the FBI insist upon using the old school rigid hand approach when it comes to the karate chop move while Tenet and the CIA have adopted a less rigid cupped hand approach. Which move is more effective? It’s not my place to say. Each one has its own advantages and disadvantages, but the bottom line is this. Unless we as a Nation decide on a single unified karate chop move, I fear the War on Terror will ultimately be lost.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

They call them restrooms and yet I still get strange looks every damn time I curl up to take a nap at the foot of one of those urinals?

I really hate the term masturbation. It’s just that it sounds so unromantic. Instead, I prefer to think of it as sleeping with myself and I must admit, I do sleep with myself quite regularly. I reckon you might even say that me and my hand are in a committed relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times when I do cheat on my hand and have sex with my wife, but I can honestly say this happens only very rarely and in my defense, my hand is always present and often involved, so I guess it’s really more of a threesome situation now that I actually think about it.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

My friend “Shithead” once asked me if I ever wondered how I got my name.

You ever be sitting in a board meeting while a District manager is rambling on and you decide it would probably be a real good idea to slowly creep up behind him, and then dive on top of him hugging him saying “You make so many wonderful points, I just want to snuggle with you, my Mr. Smarty Man.”

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

Buckshot once hit Chuck Norris and when Chuck woke up, his clothes WERE out of style.

Have you ever heard of the two-headed horseman? He is some guy that dresses up in scary black clothes and rides a horse around town demanding that someone return his missing head. Now, he does have a normal head just like all of us but he is very adamant that he was born with a 2nd head that rests on top of his normal head. His only proof is that he has one of those toy mechanical claws and says that he used to use it to put hats on his "top head." Say what you want about the man but with proof like that who are we to label him crazy?

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