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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

Seize The Day

This amazing canine has provided me with great inspiration. I’ve heard it said that every dog has his day and I guess the reality is, I’ve been more or less sitting around on my ass, sad and lonely for years, just waiting for my day to come. Then I saw this photo and it made me realize something. It’s all about Carpe Diem. The time has come for me to grab the initiative and seize the day like this marvelous mascot. After all, did he stand there courtside with his big fat head just hoping that by chance some hot cheerleader would come over and start making out with him? Hell No! This brilliant fellow seized the moment and created a seductive sign to entice the babes. So now I’ve created my own sign which I intend to bring with me to the Mall this Saturday evening. Will the young ladies still ignore me as they always have before? I think not! Call me crazy, but I’ve gotta believe that there will be more than a few curious honeys looking to find out more about my “incredible wish granting penis”.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

Why do I usually carry an onion around in my pocket when I go out in public, you ask? Actually, it's to preserve my tough guy image. Allow me to explain. You see, I have a tendency to get all sentimental and emotional over certain things. For instance, those touching love stories you sometimes see on TV or in the movies often set me off. So whenever I feel a good cry coming on, I just whip out the onion, break it open and proceed to rub it directly in my eyes. That way, instead of coming off like a sappy little sissy boy crying over a love story, I reinforce my image as the bad ass dude who's both tough and crazy enough to rub raw onions directly in his own eyes for no apparent reason.

If I ever do get arrested and charged with the possession of narcotics I think I'll have to remind the Judge that possession is only nine-tenths the law. Oh yes, and believe me, I'll emphasize the significance of that other one-tenth until it seems impossible to ignore. Then, to put the icing on the cake, after I've gone on and on about that last tenth, I'll close my argument with something along the lines of "There's your shadow of a doubt right there, Buddy!"

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

When the mailroom guy comes around at work I like to quickly get up on top of my desk and then go diving off, laying down the atomic elbow drop to his temple.

If you eat McDonalds really slow is it still considered “fast-food”?

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

Have you ever heard of the two-headed horseman? He is some guy that dresses up in scary black clothes and rides a horse around town demanding that someone return his missing head. Now, he does have a normal head just like all of us but he is very adamant that he was born with a 2nd head that rests on top of his normal head. His only proof is that he has one of those toy mechanical claws and says that he used to use it to put hats on his "top head." Say what you want about the man but with proof like that who are we to label him crazy?

Whenever people are mad at me I tell them to blame it on the rain. I don't need to take their shit.

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