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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

Real Men Wear Pink

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying, “Real men wear pink.” Basically, the idea is that a man who wears pink is confident in his own masculinity. By contrast, the man who refuses to wear pink is the one who may harbor doubts about his own sexuality. Well, old Felix here is the perfect illustration of this concept. He is clearly supremely confident in his masculinity. Not only does he wear pink, but he also dresses up as a flower and acts like a fairy little mime. Oh, and to hammer home the point of just how manly he is, he frequently enjoys having sex with other men. Now that, my friends, is what I call a man’s man.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

They call them restrooms and yet I still get strange looks every damn time I curl up to take a nap at the foot of one of those urinals?

I really hate the term masturbation. It’s just that it sounds so unromantic. Instead, I prefer to think of it as sleeping with myself and I must admit, I do sleep with myself quite regularly. I reckon you might even say that me and my hand are in a committed relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times when I do cheat on my hand and have sex with my wife, but I can honestly say this happens only very rarely and in my defense, my hand is always present and often involved, so I guess it’s really more of a threesome situation now that I actually think about it.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

You ever go up to a nun and slap her right upside the head and then say “Come on, give me that other cheek Sista.” Think about it!

When I see a man and a woman arguing in public, I like to invite myself into the conversation by saying, “What are you guys talking about?” Usually, the man gets angry and says “Why don’t you mind your business buddy,” or you’ll even get the occasional “Fuck Off.” At this point I just grab the guy by the head and attempt to make out with him. Saying “you don’t mean those horrible things, don’t let your anger at her come between us.”

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

When your a kid growing up your parents are always telling you to Just Say No to drugs. Personally, I think that if you are talking to drugs it's probably a little too late to say no.

I like kids. What I don't like are those damn shoes that are the "new thing" for kids these days. You know those fucking things with wheels on the bottom of them. Every time I see a kid go rolling by with those things on I'd like to grab them by the back of their little kid neck pull off one of those shoes and start beating them over the head with it. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do any permanent damage to the kid, just enough to make him think twice before putting those things back on his feet. I don't know, maybe that's just me.

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