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A Just Cause
This is a photograph of a protester from PETA crouching in a cage outside the Zoo in Barcelona to highlight the plight of wild animals kept in zoo cages. Well I think it’s just terrific that she took a stand for those defenseless animals. I also think it’s quite wonderful that she chose to do it by getting naked and painting herself like a sexy little feline, but that’s beside the point. The bottom line is that she had the courage to stand up for those who could not stand up for themselves. It’s like the time, a few years back, when I got naked, painted myself red and ran into a local candy store in extreme protest of the sudden and cruel removal of the red M&M’s from the market. Those poor red chocolate treats couldn’t be heard on their own, so I took it upon myself to be their voice, and believe me, I was heard that day. After all, a naked guy painted red, shaking his fist and screaming “Damn You” over and over again at an elderly convenience store clerk does not go unnoticed. Some people said I was a fool to do it but hey, the red M&M’s are back again, aren’t they? Mission accomplished as far as I’m concerned.
RANDOM STRANGE THOUGHTS
| A joke that never seems to get old is me standing in the fresh produce section of my local supermarket alongside a big bin of apples and screaming “How do you like them apples” in the face of every poor bastard that passes by. Of course, the punchline comes when I begin pelting them unmercifully with apples as they walk away. I have to say it’s a pretty good gag. |
| They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery and it’s so true. I mean, I can’t even begin to tell you how flattered I feel personally to have been mocked by so many people over the years. |
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RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM GOO GOBLINS
| Am I the only straight man who wonders what Elvis' sweet velvety penis would taste like? |
RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM BUCKSHOT THE BANDIT
| I watched Don Juan DeMarco the other day and DJD claims to be the greatest lover in the world. This made me genuflect for a moment. Can I, or anyone for that matter, honestly say that they are the greatest of anything in the world. Roy Hobbs wanted to be the greatest there was and the greatest there ever would be... but he never made it and he actually had the goods. For a brief moment I had doubt. Then my doubt turned to despair. And then just like the Grinch realizing that Christmas was not about presents, my heart grew 2 sizes when I found what I was best at... best in the whole world. DRYING OFF!!!! I was the worlds greatest dryer off. After a shower I could dry my entire body in 45 seconds. And I'm not talking about half way, I'm talking about bone dry. Over the last 18 years of my life I have devised a method to touch ever square inch of my body with a towel and collect every single drop of water. I am the worlds greatest dryer offer and by god I dare anyone to try and take my throne. I AM THE GREATEST!!! |
| I'm a card guy. If you throw a no hitter, I may send your arm a congratulatory card. If you miss a game winning field goal it's an encouragement card for your foot. If you sleep with a hot girl your penis may find a Great Job card in the mail box. If you eat something really spicy, don't look now ass, but you'll be getting a sympathy card. Like I said before... I'm a card guy. |
RANDOM MISQUOTE
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"I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! Of course, I would prefer liberty if it’s all the same to you. You know, if it’s not too much trouble. It’s just that death seems so morbid. But I don’t want to be imposing here, so I’ll just pipe down....... Well how bout it? Liberty sounds good doesn’t it?"
- Patrick Henry |
 
 Here's one we'll call naked alien practicing the karate. Apparently he's a black belt, but clearly his form leaves something to be desired. Quite frankly, Mr. Miyagi would be appalled. Neither "wax on wax off" nor "paint the fence". If anything, it looks more like a weak attempt at "pour the juice". What an absolute disgrace. Just another example of a know it all spaceman who can't be bothered to put forth even the slightest bit of effort.
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