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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

The Solution?

Here we see FBI Director Robert Mueller making a point while testifying before the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington. And the point he is making? It's simple really. He thinks that the only way we're ever gonna be able to defeat the terrorists is with the Kung Fu. As he demonstrates his patented karate chop move, he explains that a crack group of Ninjas strategically placed along US borders is the only feasible way of keeping "evil doers" out. Of course, these Ninjas would not be dressed in the traditional Ninja garb. Oh no, instead they would be disguised as farm animals. In fact, most of them would work in teams of two, one Ninja dressed as the horses front end and the other as the horses ass. That way, what would seem to potential terrorists as just a couple of harmless weirdos walking around in a horse suit would turn out to be an ass whoopin waiting to happen. And as for the "evil doers" who have already infiltrated the US? According to Mueller, he and his devastating karate chop move are fixin to take care of those bastards personally.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

It occurred to me that the phrase, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” must be pretty disconcerting to cats.

Wouldn’t it be really neat if a guy could take a little puppet and make it seem like the puppet was actually talking when really it’s just the guy pretending to be the puppet by moving the puppets lips and keeping his own lips pretty still while talking in an imaginary puppet voice?

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

I like to set really loud ring tones and then hide my cell phone in secret places while at work, and then I like to stand in the middle of the office and ask if I could borrow someone's cell phone to call mine so I can find it. When it begins rigning I say "Do you hear that, listen carefully, it's my phone, and it's up my ass again."

What if your mind had a mind of its own?

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

When I see one of those Geico cavemen commercials it always pisses me off. Back in my day a caveman with a little self-discipline could really make something of himself. Take for example Captain Caveman. He was a super hero of sorts and you always knew that his heart was in the right place. If you where an evil doer and you heard the ferocious cry "Captain Caa'aaaaaave Maannnnn!!!" you knew to run the opposite direction. He was even a captain to boot (Although I'm not sure which branch of the military gave him the rank). I think that the Geico cavemen could learn a lot from Captain Caveman, but then again I think that we could all learn something from the Captain.

I watched Don Juan DeMarco the other day and DJD claims to be the greatest lover in the world. This made me genuflect for a moment. Can I, or anyone for that matter, honestly say that they are the greatest of anything in the world. Roy Hobbs wanted to be the greatest there was and the greatest there ever would be... but he never made it and he actually had the goods. For a brief moment I had doubt. Then my doubt turned to despair. And then just like the Grinch realizing that Christmas was not about presents, my heart grew 2 sizes when I found what I was best at... best in the whole world. DRYING OFF!!!! I was the worlds greatest dryer off. After a shower I could dry my entire body in 45 seconds. And I'm not talking about half way, I'm talking about bone dry. Over the last 18 years of my life I have devised a method to touch ever square inch of my body with a towel and collect every single drop of water. I am the worlds greatest dryer offer and by god I dare anyone to try and take my throne. I AM THE GREATEST!!!

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