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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)


Perhaps you look at this photo and think of the ballet. I, on the other hand, look at it and see the face of injustice. First off, I think it’s ridiculous that being female is a prerequisite for being a ballerina. I know there are male ballet dancers and all, but they’re not ballerinas. So where does that leave someone like me? You see, ever since I was a young lad, all I ever wanted to be was a ballerina. Now, don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I’m some kind of sissy or anything like that. It’s just that the thought of putting on eye liner and lipstick, dressing in a pink tutu and prancing around flamboyantly on my tippy-toes arouses me tremendously on a sexual level. But no, apparently the wonderful world of ballet has no room for guys like me.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

It occurred to me that the phrase, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” must be pretty disconcerting to cats.

Wouldn’t it be really neat if a guy could take a little puppet and make it seem like the puppet was actually talking when really it’s just the guy pretending to be the puppet by moving the puppets lips and keeping his own lips pretty still while talking in an imaginary puppet voice?

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

I find the term “hands free” cell phone to be offensive for those lacking hands.

I like to go up to random white people on the street and say “I should have guessed it, your one of them Bush people aren’t you. Then I like to shake my head with disgust and say “you look like a darn Neanderthal.”

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

We've all heard of Damian, that little devil with 666 on his head. Born at 6 o'clock on the 6th of June, you know the story. Most of worry about his coming to the planet but when he does show up he will have opposition! That opposition comes in the form of a moose that roams the wilds of Canada known as the Anti-Damian. He was birthed at 2:22 on the 22nd of March (Go figure?). The A-D is just waiting up there for Damian to show himself and then he will come out of the wilderness to do battle with the devil. He was trained by Santa's reindeer to fly just in case Damian shows up on a different continent. He has also taught himself 3 different martial arts disciplines though books he checked out at his local library. To keep himself occupied while waiting for the Anti-Devil he works as a freelance writer for a local high school newspaper.

When I walk into Bed Bath and Beyond I always head straight to the beyond section.

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