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The Peppercorn Kid Rides Again
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon. I know what you're probably thinking. Not another happy-go-lucky, rosy cheeked, bowling enthusiast in a red sweater vest who thinks he's a real life cowboy. Well don't let my appearance deceive you. I make no claim to be a cowboy in the traditional sense. I'm no horse riding, cattle rustling, whiskey drinking gunslinger.
The fact is, I like to blend into the woodwork and I tend to cringe at the first sign of trouble. I have become very adept at running and hiding. My modo is "Please don't hurt me." But if you happen to see me on the street one afternoon, curled up in a fetal position because you looked in my general direction, don't be fooled. You see, during the day I go by my given name, Ned Cringle. It is only at night, when all is quiet, that The Kid emerges.
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People often wonder how a seemingly mild mannered bowling enthusiast by day can transform into a kick ass crime fighting cartoon cowboy in the evening. I can't really explain it, but I will tell you this. The moment I sling that big wooden pepper grinder over my shoulder and mount my moped, I am no longer a happy-go-lucky, rosy cheeked, clean shaven bowling enthusiast in a red sweater vest. As I blaze a trail down the streets at speeds in excess of 25 miles per hour I am, in the immortal words of Jon Bon Jovi, "a cowboy, on the steel horse I ride." The Peppercorn Kid rides again.
I have no sidekick because like most cowboys I'm a loner. I don't look for trouble but trouble just seems to have a way of finding me. Most folks give me my space, but once in a while, some hot shot decides he's gonna take a crack at The Kid. Usually, just a turn of the crank on my pepper grinder sends 'em scurrying away, however, there have been times when I've had to actually dispense a little pepper induced justice. I'm not proud of it, but a fellas gotta defend himself.
So let this be a warning from The Kid. If you're a law abiding citizen you have nothing to fear. But if you cross that line, The Kid will be waiting, quite possibly in a prone position.
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